7th December 2013 (Prom Night)

I don’t know about you guys, but I have dreamt about Prom Night ever since my first day in high school. No kidding, I’ve imagined, planned, who’s gonna be my date and all that crap ever since I first entered form 1. Believe it or not, that was the only thing I looked forward to during my high school years. Prom Night. And Prom Night you ask? It was magical. I loved every moment of it, it was perfect.

One of the things I love the most in life are spontaneous dates, random night out, last minute outings, etc. They’re the best. And like my date, it was pretty random and unexpected. Ever since I dated Jet, I always thought I’d end up going to prom with him. Well boom, no I didn’t. And then I went out with this “nice” fella for a while there and he seemed interested in going to my prom and asking me to go to his. Well boom, no again. Sucks for you bruh :p so the only MAN I know with BALLS OF STEEL decided to ask me to be his prom date on the 20th of July 2013. None other than, Lim Junji (Junki) himself, one of the hottest guys in school, one of my closes guy friends. My first and last year in that school and I started during Senior Year. No regrets though, he came over to my house with a bouquet of roses, a card and asked permission from both my mum and dad to bring me to prom. How can I say no right? A real gentleman right there, ladies. Whoever gets him in the future, you should never let go of him.

Months passed and boom, it was already the 7th of December. You could not imagine what me, Whye Yee, Michelle and Clarice felt that day and the night before. All were nervous, all were excited, all were scared. We packed our things, head over to the hotel and started decorating the ballroom. After decorating the place, we head up to our hotel room and started to get ready. I remembered playing “Right There by Ariana Grande” while getting our hair and make up done. Will always and forever will be my 2013 Prom Night song haha! Once done with make up, guess who decided to Whatsapp me? The one and only, Mr Redza Ramzan (Prom DJ). Never met him until that night and golly, I can’t deny that he did look cute that first time haha! But such a little perv, staring at asses and boobs all night -.- Speed things up a bit, got my dress on, my heels on and Prom was about to begin. Junji picked me up from the elevator (because I wasn’t home hahaha), put my corsage on for me (yis), and we walked hand in hand to the ballroom. So far so good, prom ran smoothly. But I think the funniest part were the games haha! Brought a little BU4 into SSC and spiced things up a bit.

We played 2 games that night:

1) Put a pair of adult diapers on your date and make sure it’s secure. After it was secured, ask date to finish a bottle of (low fat) milk. They all be bulking! Me and Junji got first in this whoop whoop!

2) This, this was funny haha! The male must blow a condom as big as they can, put it between their thighs and ask date to sit on it until it popped. “Who’s idea was this ha? So naughty!” And great, everyone started pointing at me! Hahaha geez thanks a lot guys. Me and Junji got second, better than nothing right?

So done with games, and they started to announce the winners for best couple, best dressed and last but not least, Prom King and Prom Queen. I should tell you, I was nervous as hell. As you guys should know by now, that was my first and last year in SSC. In my mind, all I could think about was the host announcing Michelle’s name as Prom Queen cause well, she was loved by everyone in that school. I was surprised, well shocked as well, when they announced, wait for it, MY NAME! Who knew? I was, I was speechless hahaha me and Ryan didn’t expect it at all! Who’s Ryan you ask? My twin, my King and my close male buddy :) see you in court Judge Fudge!

Well, it’s always the Prom King and Queen who opens the dance floor for the slow dance part right? This right here, my favorite part of prom, this was the part I looked forward to all my life. Slow dancing with someone. It’s not that my first slow dance was, bad, I mean it was okay. It was awkward.. haha! but twinsie was a great partner to talk to while dancing! It was unexpected so I never thought I’d be dancing with Ryan that night and Ryan thought he’d be dancing with Nicole that night. We ended up twirling and spinning and laughing and smiling because we were happy we won but super mega awkward to be dancing with one another haha! And then, well of course, my prom date had to step in right? Me and Junji didn’t say much xD I just ended up lying on his shoulder and we just danced to the music for one whole song. Mind you, he’s super tall like even with heels I’m at his nose at least. What even, man xD but this, this third and final slow song? This was totally unexpected. I thought I wasn’t going to dance with anybody honestly. So I sat back down after the second song, everyone was switching partners and all and suddenly I saw a hand right under my face. I looked up and saw a smile with someone saying, “Do you want to dance?” :) Like a scene from The Princess Diaries or some fairytale of some sort, that was super romantic haha that was honestly the best slow dance I’ve ever had so far. Redza asked Kimi if he could watch over the booth a while because he wanted to ask me for a dance and Kimi just smiled and nod his head. I remembered asking Redza though, “What made you come over and ask me to dance? We never really talked and this was our first time meeting and all.” And he said, “I trusted my guts and just went up to you and asked for a dance. Who knew, I’m now dancing with the Prom Queen ;)” It was so, idk. But like we had so much to talk about for someone meeting for the first time. Stupid bastard kept making jokes and we kept laughing the whole time. Wasn’t even worried if I or anyone else stepped on my dress. Dancing with Redza was fun and he’s definitely a great slow dance partner. But every great moment has to end at some point.

The song ended and it was finally HardKnights’ turn to shine. We started partying until midnight and it felt amazing! To finally stop worrying about prom, to finally let go of all my problems. It was super amazing. Everything was in slow motion for one second. I looked around the room and saw everyone letting go and being themselves, everyone smiling and laughing, old friends, new friends, everyone was mixing around and I loved it. I just hope Prom Night was magical to everyone who attended like it was to me. Not just 2013’s but the years after that as well. My dear juniors, make prom one of the most memorable nights of your life because you will regret it if you don’t. Make it worth remembering. FInd a good DJ, a good photographer, a good hotel, anything. You’ll end up telling your kids (or blog) about it one day like I will/did. 

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

Just because you miss someone, it doesn’t mean you should go back to them. Sometimes you have to just keep missing them until you wake up one morning and realise that you don’t anymore.

(via wishing-on-my-eyelashes)